During my first 1.5
years in Tennessee, my family received regular phone calls that started…"MOM! You won’t believe what happened at work
today!?!?!” (To which she would just
start laughing diabolically, enjoying my reactions to leaving the liberal
university bubble I had lived in for the past 7 years.) Despite my initial culture shock, I
absolutely love the South and learned to function quite well as a displaced Yankee.
For those Yankees who
have never lived or worked in the South, I've come up with a quick list to help give you a
head start in your acculturation process….
1. “Bless your heart” can
mean anything from “F--- you” to “I’ll be praying for your soul because you are
going to Hell in a hand basket” to “You silly little thing, I don’t think you
have any idea what you are talking about”.
In any case, no matter how much the person is smiling when they say it,
you don’t want to be on the receiving end of this.
2. Southerners have
awesome phrases to describe people’s behavior.
Some of my favorites are: (1) “S/He is talking out of her/his head” (S/He
is ranting, raving or truly insane), (2) Too big for his/her britches (They
think they are all that and they are not and could stand to be “taken down a
peg or two”), (3) “Busy as a cat on a hot tin roof” (this is crazy busy), (4) “My
eyeballs are floatin’” (Gotta pee so bad I’m about to pee my pants) and (5)
Madder than a wet hen. (Irate, furious, etc.)
3. Even if a person is
smiling when talking to you, if you “feel” that they are mad at you, they
probably are livid.
For a Northerner, the
cognitive dissonance this creates is mind-boggling. I made several trips to my boss’s office
where the conversation started out, “I think _____’s family is going to file a
complaint against me but she was smiling and really nice….however, I just feel she really wanted to rip my face
off.” 100% of the time, I was right in
these cases. (And no, I did not do anything wrong…it was a job hazard of where I worked)
4. Manners are
important! In Michigan, it was perfectly
appropriate to call a colleague at work and say, “Hi ________. It’s ________.” and get down to
business. This is considered very, very
rude in the South. (Took me 1 year to
learn this…old habits die hard).
If you don’t at least
ask how the person on the other end is, maybe how their weekend was, answer
questions about how your family is…even though they’ve never met them nor have
ever heard of them (and take the time to listen to their responses), you do not
pass go, do not collect $200.
My first mental reaction
to this was, “Who are you and why are you asking me about my family???” General
rule in the South: You must be nice, thoughtful and follow the script. (And no, they are not collecting information
on you and your family you crazy, paranoid Yankee ;-)
5. For better or worse, everything
is SLOWER.
I was accused of
running everywhere (I’m a fast walker), frequently asked what my hurry was and
accused of talking fast on purpose so people wouldn’t understand me. In the South, you need to relax, take your
time and know that you will still make it to your destination….I still suck at
this.
One of the highest
compliments that you can get as a displaced Yankee is, “You know, you ain’t too
bad for a Yankee”….when I got this from a patient, I knew I was golden. J
However, “You damn Yankee” never means good things and usually requires bringing
in a Southern colleague (or “ally”) to help diffuse the situation.
6. Want to know where the
Southern drawl comes from? It comes from
talking so frickin’ slow!
You don’t need to “adopt”
the Southern accent when living in the South, it comes naturally when you are
forced to slow down your rhythm of speech.
When I got home from work, or was talking about my work with family or
friends, I would frequently get accused of “talking Southern”.
7. If you are female, you
will be called sweetheart, honey, etc. (I'm a die hard feminist and yes, I came to accept this)
Usually, this is harmless, but sometimes it will make you homicidal…especially
by a car repair guy who’s dealership messed up your car 3 different times in 2
weeks resulting in missing work. I
learned that there were times and places to call on my displaced inner Yankee self
to get things done.
Are you a Southern? Displaced Yankee? We’d love to hear your loves and tips about
living in the South!
